As announced by Deadline yesterday, Sacha Baron Cohen has officially signed on to play Queen’s late frontman Freddie Mercury in a biopic due to start shooting next year.
Am I jumping the gun if I say that this movie will be the fourth-greatest motion picture of all time, behind Citizen Kane, Rules of the Game, and The Blues Brothers?
Now, if they made a James Brown biopic starring Chiwetel Ejiofor as Brown...then THAT would be #4.
Plenty of good advice in in the Guardian's "Ten rules for writing fiction." I feel like, in all likelihood, these rules largely apply to making music as well. Especially the following couple of rules from Jeanette Winterson:
"1. Turn up for work. Discipline allows creative freedom. No discipline equals no freedom."
This is similar to a rule I try to follow, courtesy of Drew Barrymore (I know, I know), which is something like, "Do something every day that gets you closer to your goal. It doesn't have to get you there, but it does have to get you closer. That way, you can go to bed knowing you're at least closer today than you were yesterday."
And:
"5. Don't hold on to poor work. If it was bad when it went in the drawer it will be just as bad when it comes out."
Don't I know it. There are some songs that literally took me years to write, and then I eventually have to accept the fact that they're garbage, and have been the the entire time.
Hundreds of pieces of advice, mostly from writers I (ashamedly) know nothing about.
During the last election, I noticed that at the Republican town halls, people complained constantly about immigration. But what they complained most about wasn’t the possibility of lost jobs, or crime. It was that when they called their bank, a recorded message told them to press 2 for Spanish.
By being different from me, you are attacking my values.
By not doing what I do, you are implicitly judging my actions.
By doing what I do not, you are stepping outside of what is natural and right.
So I got a new guitar (http://twitgoo.com/1gp092) this past weekend, and while that's really the beginning and the end of the story, I feel compelled to recount, in unnecessary detail, the specifics of which guitar I bought and why I bought it where I did. In the end, I simply wonder if I'm being petty.
To begin, I wanted a Rickenbacker guitar. Specifically, a semi-hollow electric. They look great, sound really rich without being muddy, and are made in the good 'ol usa. So I started my adventure in midtown, which was a mistake.
For those who don't know, most musical instrument stores are unpleasant affairs. I would compare most to Kmart or McDonald's - only less friendly. They frequently feature salesmen who are not interested in solving any problems or meeting any needs - they simply want you to hand them your credit card and buy whatever they recommend. If you don't immediately indicate that you are going to buy something (preferably without playing or even looking at it), you are hated. You are a waste of time, because the sales guys would much rather talk about how awesome their bands were in 1981. They absolutely do not want to answer any questions or help you make the right decision for you.
Sample conversation:
Me: Would I be able to play that guitar there?
Sales guy: Well, when are you looking to pick one up?
Me: Wouldn't I need to play it first to know whether I want it or not?
Sales guy: Because I only have two in stock and they're back ordered for like a year.
Me: I really think I should probably play it first before I decide that I want to buy it.
Sales guy: (Grumbles - takes guitar off wall)
He then kicked me out 10 minutes later because there was another customer waiting and they provide "individual service."
Never mind the fact that as I tried out the admittedly very nice guitar, he didn't once offer to help me in any way, despite the fact that I told him I was interested in two different instruments that were clearly right next each other.
He said I could resume when the next customer left, but I figured I would never give that store my business anyway, so I left and headed to my next destination.
So I ended up at Rivington guitars, where they had a beautiful Rickenbacker 330 hanging on the wall, with a 10% discount to boot.
I played it for probably 30-40 minutes before the guy behind the counter even asked me what I was thinking. In that time, he helped me try the guitar on three amps, explained his thoughts on 60 cycle hum, and discussed with me the general image and popularity of Rickenbacker guitars.
All this before asking me, with zero pressure, whether I was thinking about buying it. My hesitation was not insignificant - I wasn't sure the instrument had enough clarity on the treble end to do what I wanted.
So he asked me something you never hear in a guitar store:
"Do you want to crank it?"
This is something that is nearly blasphemous. Most places hate to hear play, and especially hate for you to play loudly. It interrupts their casual conversation. For this gentleman to ask if I (gasp) would want to play at a real performance volume, and further use an overdrive pedal that I would normally use - unheard of. Now, none of this defies common sense, but it does defy common practice.
So a cranked that mother out. And, sufficiently pleased that it did everything I wanted - I picked it up then and there.
I think, somehow creative people have allowed the fairly callous retailers that sell the wares we use to ruin the first part of the process - I.e. buying the stuff we use to make even cooler stuff. I don't worship at the altar of guitars or gear, I am primarily interested in obtaining quality tools that enable me to make records and play show that I'm proud of. So when a store allows me to thoroughly deliberate to male sure their instrument solves a particular problem for me, it feels both obvious and totally foreign.
It makes me hope that the big chains wake up one day and realize that the experience they're selling is a dehumanizing one, and not a situation that thoughtful people will willingly pi themselves in.
Or am I just harboring a grudge against one subpar sales guy and unfairly painting the musical instrument retail industry with an overly wide brush?
For what it's worth, I think I'm being pretty reasonable.
I just got a new toy. It's a phone with an iq higher than mine. I hope this means that i'll be a more communicative and prolific Blogger/updater. Or, my posts will remain infrequent, and will, on top of that, be shorter. We'll see.
